What Men Should Know About Dancing
Article by Robert Dickson
(1) Women like men who dance
At the last social function I attended as a teenager with my parents before leaving home to attend university, I was talking to a lady of advanced years (in those far-off days anyone over fifty was “of advanced years” to me!). She advised me that, if there was a ballroom dancing society at the college I was attending, I should join it straight away as there was no surer way of both meeting, and bonding with, a wide variety of young women.
Like many arrogant and self-conscious teenagers, I ignored her advice and it was another fifteen years before I was taken to dance lessons by a female friend and discovered the joys of dancing. Once I had reached a certain level of proficiency, a whole new social world opened up to me. Belatedly, and despite being told about it as a teenager, I had discovered in my mid-thirties the universal truth that women love to dance!
OK, as a man you get a certain number of points from the opposite sex for actually having the courage to walk onto a dance floor. However once you’re there your points total can go up or down, depending on whether you dance together as partners, or separately as two individuals doing vertical death-throes in front of each other.
Showing a woman your interpretation of a piece of music by writhing and jerking in front of her, no matter how rhythmically you do it, is most likely going to increase your “dork factor” rather than your points total. Whether you like Latin, Ballroom, Rock ‘n’ Roll, Swing, Ceroc, Hip Hop or Funk style music, your chances of impressing women are only going to increase if you take some lessons (Belly dancing might be an exception to this rule!)
(2) Start by taking some lessons
Dancing is a skill, and like all skills it must be learned if you are to do it properly. Some people learn best by listening, and others learn best by watching. With dancing you must do both, and the place to do this is at a series of beginners’ lessons with a professional teacher. All dance studios have student programmes in various dance styles, and community evening colleges also provide dance classes for beginners.
(3) How many lessons do I need?
How long is a piece of string? The answer to this question depends on the goal you have set yourself. If you are just learning some social dancing for a family wedding with no intention of continuing dancing afterwards, then one term of beginners’ lessons should suffice. However, if you show some aptitude, it is likely you will want to continue learning until you reach a glass ceiling which only you can see.
Some people do some continuing lessons until they are confident they can hear the beat of the music and translate that into steps, and at this point they just pick up new steps from DVDs rather than from a dance studio. To some people, dancing becomes a passion and they take lessons for years with the aim of entering competitions.
(4) Go Easy on Yourself
If you are expecting dance lessons to turn you into John Travolta in “Saturday Night Fever” overnight, try lowering the bar! Typically, beginners’ classes will be in the early part of the evening on a weeknight. After a hard days work, your concentration and co-ordination levels may not be at 100%, so don’t get frustrated if you can’t seem to pick up a sequence of steps.
SLOW DOWN! Try to get the steps right before you try to keep up with the music. If you’re still stumped, ask the teacher or an assistant to demonstrate the steps for you. They will be happy to help. You’re their customer, after all, and the customer is always right. If you don’t look good after their tuition, then they don’t look good.
(5) Get the basics right and the rest will flow:-
Dance with knees slightly flexed and transfer your weight to each foot as you put it down.
When stepping back, keep your weight forward (hip goes back, not your shoulders).
Keep tone in your arms and support your own weight. If the lady has “cooked spaghetti” arms, the man cannot communicate the lead.
Keep free arms tucked in at waist level – No Dead Arms!
Take small steps no wider than your hips to help balance and recovery.
Wear shoes with a leather or suede sole. Sports shoes or trainers will grab the floor and hinder your movements.
Dance as though nobody is watching you!
(6) Personal Hygiene
We’re all friends here, aren’t we? Well, apparently only your best friend will tell you if your breath smells or the underarm deodorant you applied this morning has worn off. Perhaps you had one last cigarette before the class started, so your clothes, hair and breath smell like an ashtray. Most women are too polite to tell you – they just won’t dance with you again.
Dance lessons are a social occasion, so if you want to be a social success, make sure your armpits are ‘charmpits’, and carry breath mints at all times. Most serious dancers don’t drink alcohol and 99.99% don’t smoke, so forgo that beer and cigarette in the time between work and your dance class if you want to make a good impression on your fellow students.
(7) Enjoy yourself
Dancing should be fun, so don’t take it too seriously. You will meet new friends and, at the very least, increase your fitness level while learning a useful social skill that you can take all over the world. You never know – you might just do what I did – meet that special someone while dancing cheek to cheek.
About the Author
Robert Dickson has been a dancing enthusiast for twenty years and is a teaching assistant at ballroom, latin and rock ‘n’ roll classes.
You can get Robert’s printed beginners’ dance steps via his Web site http://www.freemovement.com.au as well as related links for dancing DVDs
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